Patterns and Possibilities

Pattern Spotting Super Powers

A restless world requires a unique skill set than what we might be used to. One of those skills is the ability to spot patterns in a complex system. And yes, you can develop and hone that skill, like any other skill, with deliberate practice.

And this is an important distinction from the old way of consulting where the organization has to live up to someone else’s standards or checklists. Coaches who thrive in this world have a stronger sense of discovery. In interviews and workshops, I’m looking for patterns and how that presents the system. Standing in inquiry longer helps with better decisions on next wise actions.

One of my favorite stories to illustrate this example comes from Dr. Glenda Eoyang of HSD Institute. And it goes like this:

An agricultural institution had hired her to work with this team of general-purpose managers who were not getting along with each other. Their current jobs were not aligned with their schooling. And their unhealthy interactions were impeding work.

In a workshop setting, she asked them to list all the differences in the room. They talked about cars they drove, the sports team they like, married or single, etc. Folks found it lighthearted and were having a good time. Then one of them said, “We went to different campuses.” And the noise in the room dropped. Glenda realized that this was an important difference, so she asked about it. Most of the people in the room had gone to the state’s university. Some had gone to the Agricultural Business campus. While others had gone to the Agricultural Tech campus where they did farming and husbandry.

So, she invited them to split into groups in the room. Everyone who went to one campus on one side of the room, and the ones who went to the other campus on the other side of the room. Then she asked to share what they thought the other group said about them. The business folks said that they probably say that we are just fancy all-talk with no purpose or value. And more nasty things they knew the other side said about them. The farmhands said that the other group probably thinks of them as unwashed and uncultured. And unloaded more thoughts. In the middle of the naming of names, one of them said, “But if they didn’t do what they do, we couldn’t do what we do.” And that was the point at which they could settle into figuring out how to build on the contributions of both sides of the room and began to work like a team.

I love this story for many reasons, mainly because it resonates with my own experiences in coaching day-in and day-out. And that this is exactly how I influence and nurture positive change. And I believe that when we turn our judgement into curiosity, we can fresh ways to get unstuck and keep thriving.

Positive Change

Beginning and Ending with Gratitude

I’ve experimented with gratitude for many years. It started with me wanting to believe its value. Now, there was this messy middle of my experiments where I would find myself frozen with inaction, insincere, and awkward. I had to build the courage to notice and appreciate others. To my surprise, it wasn’t a noble deed for them, rather; it built an energy store for me. An energy store that I could use to great effect and impact.

Even in the face of extreme difficulty, there is much to be grateful for. Gratitude is a matter of choice, we can always focus on what and who we are grateful for. It helps us get grounded and build the energy to move forward in seemingly intractable situations. As a student and practitioner of complexity, I’m always looking for differences that make a difference. Practicing and expressing gratitude is one of those differences. 

I was in China on an international assignment for 3 months and conducted several workshops for the coaches. I ran a gratitude workshop that I learned from Dr. Glenda Eoyang near the end of my assignment. I knew it would be impactful, what I did not know was that it would create ripple effects of positivity. One of my associates there recently reached out to me and was delightfully describing how she loves it and how she’s facilitated in different settings including an extended leadership team meeting. She felt it spoke to her and that she’s finding the same spark light up with others. (I intend to write up instructions for the workshop in a subsequent blog post)

None of what I have said so far should be earth shattering. It’s common sense, it’s simple. Yet, I find people surprised when I thank them for something they did or for the bright smile they brought to work today or that I’m just grateful to see them. It’s simple, and yet, it isn’t easy without deliberate practice.

One of my mentors helped me realize my own limitations when he asked me to thank five people every day until it becomes an unconscious habit. And man, was it hard. I would make excuses, say that it feels weird. And as hilarious as it would sound, he said I should be already 50% done before I even leave for work by thanking people in my household. He wouldn’t let me get away with excuses. 

And I’m grateful to my mentor for that. When I offer reinforcing feedback or thanks to others, I build my energy reserve. I feel more positive throughout the day.

I’ll leave you with a meeting warm-up that I love doing. And I encourage you to try it with your team.

Invite people to answer a question in the category of gratitude. You may ask “what are you thankful for? Or you can change it up for limitless possibilities. The advice here is to pick only one question and model the behavior by going first. Here are two examples I’ve used in the past:

What fills you with gratitude right here, right now?

As you reflect on the past (day, week, month), who do you feel thankful to?

And now it’s your turn.